Schlongs4Seals 101

Post your “junk shots”!

Keep it clean: no nudity or images of genuine exploitation. (The site admin will know it when she sees it.)

Have fun! This is satire, peoples. Come out and play.

Share with your friends. Especially your Facebook friends, in the form of links. (Facebook may have deleted our fan pages, but “Boobs for SeaLs” Shepherd cannot possibly keep all of our content off of FB. Muahahaha!)

Smash the kyriarchy! – Preferably whilst wearing nothing other than a pair of itsy-bitsy, ill-fitting purple shorts (the better to see your package with, my dear!) and/or Wonder Woman underoos (vintage 1980s, natch).

Register as a member so you can enjoy all we have to offer. Visitors can view the website, blog, photos and discussion forum and comment on blog posts and photos/photo albums; but only registered members can upload photos and participate in the discussion forum.* (Coming soon!)

* Note: If you’d like to submit a photo, but 1) don’t want to set up an account or 2) wish to remain anonymous, send your package to the site admin (schlongs4seals [at] and she will upload it for you, with as much or as little credit as you desire (e.g., full name, nickname, alias, website link, etc.). Be sure to include copyright/licensing details.

Post your boob shots! This is not that kind of website, ladies and germs.

Stray too far off-topic. Remember: we’re all about satire and schlongs. Oh, and seals, of course.

Be mean to or hate on men as a group. That said, individual asshats are fair game!

Be a speciesist, misogynist, sexist, racist, homophobic, transphobic, ableist, sizeist, lookist, xenophobic, colonialist, and/or otherwise privileged tool.

Complain about what a sexist/tasteless/pointless waste of time this website is – anywhere, that is, but in the dedicated discussion thread that the site admin oh-so-helpfully set up for just this purpose. [Or rather, “will set up in the future”; until such a time, direct your complaints here.]

Redistribute or repurpose other members’ work without her/his/hir permission.

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